


Bertger

by coldest_of_cuts



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Burgers - Freeform, Crack, Crying, Dead Erwin Smith, Death, Eating, Limbless character, Men Crying, Mild Gore, Other, Season 3, Titans, Vore, bert wit no brim, crackfic, heinz ketchup - Freeform, levi spitting facts, mcdonalds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29784687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldest_of_cuts/pseuds/coldest_of_cuts
Summary: Bert is about to die to Armin when all of a sudden Levi spices things up a bit.“Hey bert, what’s your favorite type of burger?”“mcdonal big mac.”Levi nodded in agreement. Levi likes them too.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Bertger

one day bert was waiting to be eaten by sharmin ultrasoft when all of a sudden levi decided he wanted to spice things up a little bit. 

“Hey bert, what’s your favorite type of burger?” Levi said towering over bert wit no brim. Bert took a second to think of an answer before finally answering, 

“mcdonal big mac.”

Levi nodded in agreement. Levi likes them too. 

“Hmm… beyblade kid. Go fetch us 2 big macs.” Levi said. Beyblade kid (who we’re gonna call Floch) spoke up.

“How the fuck am i supposed to find a mcdonalds during a time like this?” 

Levi kicked his shin and he fell down the roof and died alongside Erwin’s dead body.

“oopsie.” Levi said. Levi paused, before speaking up again.

“Hey, eren, get me some big macs will ya?” Levi said. Eren started back at him like he wasn’t spitting straight facts. 

“Nani?” Eren said. 

“I SAID-“ Levi was cut off.

“No, I heard you, but where am i supposed to get a big mac?” Eren asked. Levi shrugged.

“Just do it, command the titans to do it or something.” Levi ordered. Eren nodded while hysterically crying, Levi whispered something to him, but no one heard it. Eren swooped away and started yelling at the titans to get him two big macs. They nodded and started searching for a macdonald’s. 

  
  


Bert fell asleep again. When he woke up, he was a burger. But not just any burger, he was a bertger. Everyone was standing far away, he didn’t know why. But then he heard thumps from behind him, and he understood. Bert started crying.

“Guys please.” Bert cried. The thumping got louder and closer. He heard a low growl and then someone was talking to him. 

“ME ARMIN. ME HUNGRY FOR BURTGER. GRRRRRR” It then screeched very loud, Bert could not cover his ears so he went deaf. Blood poured from his ears, but then he noticed. It wasn’t blood, but heinz tomato ketchup. Bert started crying even harder. “GUYS PLEASE.” He cried out again. He was picked up by Sharmin ultra strong, that was when Bert realized that he was infact, a big mac. Or at least in one. His hearing was improving the tiniest bit, the last thing he heard was, “Maybe we should have asked what Armins’s favorite burger was instead of Bert’s.” He didn’t know who said it. (Who was he kidding it was probably Levi). He met the eyes of his friends one last time before everything went dark and he died. the end. 


End file.
